Monthly Archives: April 2015

Apr 17

The Masquerade of Perceived Bliss

By Rebecca Townsend | Mental Health

Have compassion for everyone you meet, even if they don’t want it. What appears bad manners, an ill temper or cynicism is always a sign of things no ears have heard, no eyes have seen. You do not know what wars are going on down there where the spirit meets the bone ~ Miller Williams

Life is hard.

It doesn’t seem fair. And there are days when it’s no fun.

It makes sense that people dip into a deep blue funk (that’s what I call depression).

The Masquerade of Perceived Bliss begins early in life.

Lullabies hushing little ones to stop the tears – don’t cry – we’ll buy you something. Won’t you delight in one more snuggly stuffed animal?

We don’t want to see your tears.

Who called you a name at school? It’ll be ok, have some milk and cookies.

We can’t handle your hurt.

They made fun of your new jeans? Let’s go get the right jeans, then.

We need everyone to approve of you - you can’t be different.

The coach is being rough on you? Don’t worry about mowing the yard or getting your homework done – this is a blow to your self-esteem.

Just don’t cry. Please, don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry.

Stop the tears with food, clothes, money, video games, and alcohol…please, don’t be sad! You have no reason to be sad – look at everything you have!

Can we stop hot-wiring happiness?

There is no instant elation.

We are humans, created with crevices of imperfection. Sadness, anger, bitterness, jealousy, confusion, grief, anxiety, arrogance…

Yet, it is faster, easier and not only acceptable – but expected - to throw a cloak over the pain. You had better do just that, camouflage any emotion – you know you only have three bereavement days for the loss of your immediate family member, right?

Stuff all those tears. Take these pills. Read this book. Listen to this song.

We are complex beings and we regularly dismiss the intricacy of our souls for the sake of time-management.

We teach and we learn to impersonate emotional perfection. The childhood grief, adolescent pain, adult anxiety and fear begin to feel less important – maybe even imagined.

But the authentic soul aches to be seen and heard. If you don’t allow it a voice, its desire to be recognized will twist within your body. The pain is determined to be witnessed.

Not everyone has earned the privilege to bear witness to your pain. And that may be one of the most difficult steps of ending the Masquerade.

Your pain deserves to be validated, cared for, and supported and when we expose our emotional rawness to someone who doesn’t hold it sacred, the hurt is magnified.

Living in your truth is risky and takes courage…so, go slowly and remember this is a journey.

Believe. Create. Live.

© 2015 Rebecca G. Townsend